How Long Should You Date Someone Before You Buy Them A Christmas Gift? – The Counseling Corner

Every Thursday we highlight a problem from a listener. We give our advice and ask other listeners to offer advice. Welcome to the Counseling Corner.

Dear Brain and Courtlin,

I'm having a difficult time deciding on a Christmas gift.  I've been dating a girl now for just about a month.  We're taking things slow, and it's going well.  But the holidays are approaching, and I'm debating on whether or not to get her a Christmas gift.

We've only been out on 4 dates total.  We're still getting to know each other.  I'm worried about what getting her a gift might say.  If I buy her a present, does it mean I want things to get serious?  If I don't buy her a gift, does it mean I'm not interested?  I guess I'm just not sure how she'll interpret getting, or not getting, a Christmas gift.

I'm hoping you and your listeners can provide some insight.

Todd

What Our Listeners Think:

Carol said if he has to ask if it's too early, then it probably is and he doesn't have to get her anything.

Mike suggested Todd get her something little like a gift card.

Amanda thinks it's best to discuss it with the person you're dating to avoid any awkwardness.

Karen recommends Todd just keep it simple and stick with something under $50.

Gail said wait until it's closer to Christmas and see if they're still dating at that time. If they are, then he should get something for her.

Brain says:  Are they boyfriend and girlfriend?  Or are they just dating.  If they aren't exclusive, I don't see why a gift is a must.  But if you do decide to buy her something, make it small and simple.