Mourning Mom’s Anger

Dear Brain and Steele,

I have a big problem that I have been trying to deal with for the last month, but I just can't. In April my husband and I lost our son. Everyone has heard the saying, “parents aren't supposed to outlive their children” - and I can verify, it is the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal or could imagine dealing with.

My problem stems from my son's best friend “Eddie”. “Eddie” and my son grew up together (we lived two houses apart the entire time they were in school). Rarely were they ever separate – always doing things together, going to movies, playing sports, even double dating later on. They stayed close through college and after college my son was the best man in “Eddie's” wedding. I often felt like “Eddie” was my second son. When my son passed away we asked “Eddie” to speak at the funeral and to be a pallbearer. He said he would do it. Then, “Eddie” no showed the funeral.

After things settled down following the funeral, I tried for a week to get a hold of “Eddie” and when he finally returned my call, I asked him what happened. He said going to the funeral was just too traumatic for him and he was too emotional and just couldn't handle it. I can't tell you how angry this has made me. To hear him say what he said made me want to yell “YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TOO EMOTIONAL AND TOO TRAUMATIC IS – I LOST MY SON!”

I haven't spoken to “Eddie” since that day, but feel like we need to hash this out – out of respect to my son and our family. Can you guys give me some direction?

Mom