Brain Reflects On Fatherhood

I remember the moment all three of my children were born. I bawled like a baby when Chase came into the world. A son and my first child made for an unreal moment. I remember holding Carly for the first time all by ourselves in the hospital nursery. I cried again. My little girl. And then when Cayleigh was born, for some reason, the tears stopped. As I held her for the first time I was overwhelmed by a feeling of calm and peace. They were all moments I'll never forget. As a dad, those moments keep coming. But parenting isn't all tears of joy and magical moments.

Parenting is the single hardest job you'll ever have. Period. End of story. For every moment of pure bliss, there are moments of anger, disappointment and fear. Sometimes the only thing that gets you through those tough moments are hearing the same stories from your own parents. That's right, they went through the same thing. But you didn't see it that way. I look back on my childhood and I honestly don't remember a lot of the tough days that there obviously were. I just remember my parents raising my brother and I and doing the best they could. I don't remember the times they did stuff wrong. Let's face it, all parents mess up. We don't handle situations correctly. Yes, sometimes it's O.K. to apologize to your kids. I've done it before. I hope that when they're older they remember that I tried to get it right. Not that I always DID, but that I tried to.

As we celebrate Father's Day this weekend, I look back on life with my own father. He worked in the fields of our farm every day. Many of his workdays were from sun up to sun down and beyond. He was the hardest worker that I've ever known. He tried to instill that work ethic in me. It didn't always take. But if I have one stand out memory of my father it is the following story. I was a teenager at the time, and going through a tough time. School was hard for me, and I wasn't excelling socially either. Combine that with teen hormones and I'd just had enough. I remember breaking into tears and running out of the house. My father followed me. He caught up with me around the back of our house and we collapsed onto the lawn. I sobbed in his arms, unloading all the angst and fear that had been building up inside. I don't remember all that he said to me that night. It didn't really matter. He was there for me. THAT'S what mattered. He was there holding me and telling me that I would get through this.

What do I want MY children to take away from their childhood? I want them to remember that I cared. That I was always there for them. Yes, parenting is a tough job. But it also the most rewarding job you'll ever have. Becoming a parent makes you a better person. Happy Father's Day to my dad and all the other fathers out there who continue to be there for their kids.