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Every Thursday we highlight a problem from a listener. We give our advice and ask other listeners to offer advice. Welcome to the Counseling Corner.
Dear Brain and Courtlin,
I'm having an issue with one of my children, and am hoping that you and your listeners may be able to help.  My wife and I have two kids, age 11 and 5.  We consider ourselves to be a tight knit family unit, and believe that we have a great relationship with both of our kids.  Lately, our 11 year old son has been asking me, "Dad, do you love me?"  This struck me as very odd, as both my wife and I have always made a point to tell both our kids that we love them.  Every time my son asks, I reply "yes, of course I do."  I've gone so far as to tell him that there is nothing that he could ever do to make me NOT love him.  Along with the increased asking of this question, he also requests that I hug and kiss him.  Once again, I've always made a point to show affection to both of our kids, so I'm just not sure where this is all coming from.
I'm not complaining about having to hug my kids and tell them that I love them, but this behavior has increased to all new levels in the past month or so.  I feel like he is trying to compensate for something, but I'm not sure what that might be.  Part of me thinks its just a stage, but another part of me is worried something else might be wrong.
What does it mean when my son constantly asks me if I love him?
Thanks for any help you can provide.
B
LeRoy said to simply ask his son, "what's up?"  That will open the door to whatever answer is there.
Will said that he simply needs to ask what's wrong.  He had a similar issue with his son several years agao.
Jen wondered if one of his friends had lost a parent, and this was his son's way of reassuring himself that his dad isn't going anywhere.
Ariel talked about the hugging, and said that just may be the son's way of feeling loved.
Brain says:  I think it would be a good idea to check at school with the boy's teacher to see if he is having any problems in class.  Ask him directly.  If you have a good relationship with him, this should be something you two can discuss.
Courtlin says: I don't really know what goes on in the minds of children, since I don't have any of my own, but I know as a teenager I became very needy like that when I was feeling like I wasn't getting enough attention. It could be that he just feels like he's getting neglected attention-wise. To figure out the root of that problem, you'll just have to ask.

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