Iowans are the Happiest in America Because of This Hour!

When Americans get some time off—heck, sometimes even when they don’t—they love to sprinkle in a little bit of that classic American spirit... and by spirit, I mean booze! We’re talking about spending big bucks on all kinds of fancy drinks, and there's always something new hitting the shelves. Spirits are practically a booming industry at this point. But hey, it's not just us. The whole world’s out here enjoying a good drink with their day. I mean, who wouldn't want to sip something strong while pretending they’ve got their life together?

Does Anyone Drink Better Than The United States?

Sadly, we aren't #1 in boozing.  It's not something I like to hear or read either.  China beats the U.S. in both sales and consumption.  China has sales, according to Statista, of $326 billion, and the United States isn't far behind with a respectable $292 billion.  How could that be? It's not for a lack of trying, I've seen the police blotter.

What was the First Booze?

Wikipedia says Mead is the world's oldest alcoholic beverage.  The oldest known evidence of mead dates back 9,000.  The evidence was probably collected by early crime scene technicians.  Law and Order, China. The earliest chemically confirmed alcoholic beverage was discovered in China and dates back to around 7,000-6,600 B.C.

Why is Iowa So Happy?

Iowans love to tie one on.  In fact, Iowa leads the pack of happy hour lovers by spending more than anyone in the United States.  BetVirginia looked into what states spend the most on happy hour in the U.S., and Iowa came out on top. Iowa beats the rest of the nation with an average tab of $51.23.  As tabs go, that seems a little light to me.

There are some caveats, but I don't think they would detract from Iowa's big win on the booze front.  The BetVirginia article mentions that states like Alaska, Indiana, Massachusetts, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, Utah, and Vermont don't allow happy hours.

Do You Drink The Booze?

I’m not exactly a teetotaler, though I do kind of wish I could get more into the whole "spirit world" thing. Instead, I’m my wife’s designated driver—basically a sober chauffeur with good taste in playlists. My buddy Matt, though, is on a mission to buy the weirdest bottles of booze he can find. It wasn't always enjoyable, but sometimes it was.  My wife always seemed to appreciate whatever he had acquired.

We were in Asheville, NC at a concert, and Matt broke out some tequila.  I've heard the word "smooth" associated with different alcohols over the years, but didn't know what that was.  Well, on this night I learned.  I asked what it was, I forgot the name, and how much it cost, and he said, "You don't wanna know."  My wife still references that night and the tequila as being her possible favorite-tasting spirit ever.

Total Sales of Alcohol in Iowa

Iowa holds its own when it comes to alcohol sales in the year 2023.  The Iowa Alcohol and Tax Operations Division handles that kind of thing, and reports Iowans spent to the tune of $478,259,852, says Cityview.   That's a lot of booze, but is it leading to longer life in Iowa? Maybe! You can read about that here - Life Expectancy in Iowa

Who is The Greatest Drunkard Ever?

Turns out that may or may not be someone you've heard of before.  How many calories does the average beer contain that is not lite or less filling, just regular?  Unity Point Health says that depends on the beer and maker, but we can use the rough number 150.

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With the number 150 in mind, the person who drank the most took in 7,000 calories of just alcohol daily.  According to Modern Drunkard, the caloric intake did not include food, it was just booze.  The stories of this man are as giant as he was.

The man I am speaking of is movie star and one-time wrestler Andre The Giant.  Was he the greatest drunkard the world has ever known? Possibly.  I doubt you and I together could put down 7,000 calories worth of booze and do it every day. Wow, that's perseverance.