I Hate My Daughter’s Boyfriend — Counseling Corner

Every Thursday we highlight a problem from a listener. We give our advice and ask other listeners to offer advice. Welcome to the Counseling Corner.

Dear Brain & Courtlin,

My wife and I are having some parenting trouble. My daughter is almost 17-years-old and she currently has her first boyfriend. She's always been a very bright girl; she gets good grades, plays sports, and has a lot of friends. That's why it's so strange to see her with this guy who is, for lack of a better term, a total loser. He is just graduating high school, so he is a couple years older than her, but he acts terribly immature. First of all, he's very rude. It's one thing when he's rude to my wife and me, but it's another thing when he's rude to my daughter. I've overheard some of the things he says to her when he's at our house, and a lot of it is incredibly disrespectful. I've also checked out his Facebook page and it definitely reflects what my wife and I have seen in him. He's inappropriate and cocky. Another big issue is the fact that he's unemployed. My daughter has a part-time job and she pays for everything for him. He's 18-years-old and he's never had a job, he also isn't looking for one, and he has no plans for any additional schooling. My wife and I just don't see what she sees in him, but we are afraid to step in too much. We want her to think for herself and be free to make mistakes, but we just don't want to see this guy drag her down. Young love is a powerful thing, and we know if we tell her she can't see him anymore, that will push her in his direction even further. Have any other parents out there ever hated the person their teenager was dating? What did you do about it? We need all the help we can get!

Don