I was born at a very young age. This is my second time living and working in the Tri-States. I’d tell you which stations I used to work at, but they’re no longer worth listening to (after all, I’m not there anymore). I live with Chuck, my cocker spaniel. I have five sisters, and before Facebook reminded me every year, I could never remember when their birthdays were. Thanks, Zuckerberg. I went to a very small high school outside Iowa City, and I am by far the most famous graduate. The second most famous: Ashton Kutcher. (No, seriously.) I was once run over by my own car. I am a very Leo Leo. I once had one of those astrological readings and almost all of my moons were in Leo. I don’t know what ANY of that means. I don’t understand the appeal of tattoos. I also don’t have the pain tolerance to deal with the needle. I bite my nails constantly. Some people see the glass as half-full, some as half-empty. I see it as “Either way, I'm gonna have to wash that glass.” My favorite color is orange. I’m allergic to orange juice. I once met Christina Aguilera. She totally busted me checking out her boobs. I was okay with that. I think being a rodeo clown would be a good way to see the country. When I was 20, I was told my eyesight was getting so bad that I’d be legally blind by the time I was 30. It didn’t happen, and then I got the Lasik surgery. Suck it, blindness. When I die, I’d like to go on a walk with God so he can explain what’s up with my crazy-ass relatives. Then we’d play basketball, but I’d lose. God has hops.
