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Rebound Relationship Worries. Should She Pay Attention To The Red Flags? – Counseling Corner

Every Thursday, Brain and Steele read a letter from a listener who is asking for help.  Then, it’s your turn to offer up advice to try to help he letter writer.  At the end of the segment, Brain and Steele will add in their “two cents” worth.  Welcome into The Counseling Corner.

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Hi Brain and Steele,

My name is Lucy and I am 27 years old.  I recently started dating a guy who is a little older than me (he’s 31) and I can honestly say I never been with someone who I “click” wih so well.  We’ve been on three dates and it was that third date that he dropped some info on me that has me reconsidering the whole relationship.

As we were eating dinner on our last date, the topic of previous relationships came up.  That’s when he told me that two months before we went on our first date, he had just gotten out of a SEVEN YEAR relationship.  I asked him what caused that relationship to end an all he said was it was mutual.  He also said I was the first person he went out on a date with since that relationship ended.  That’s when the red flags started flying for me.  In my head I started screaming, “I am the REBOUND!  Get out NOW!”

Two of my friends I have consulted both told me to beware of “the rebound.”  I just like this guy so much and we get along so well, I am having a hard time with getting out.  What do you guys think about rebound relationships?  I’ve never really been in a relationship long enough to have a rebound.  Are they for real?  What can I do to test this guy to see if this is real or rebound?

What our listeners think:

Carol called in to tell Lucy she should follow her heart. Carol was a rebound herself and has been married to her guy for 26 years.

Brandy thinks Lucy should be cautious. The minute this guy starts playing games and wanting to stay out late, Lucy should reconsider the relationship.

Kat commented: “people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. You never know which. Enjoy the human connection. Take it slow if you feel it is best. Be sure to communicate and be on the same page.”

Michelle told Lucy to run for the hills. She doesn’t think this guy will be able to commit to Lucy.

Karen counseled Lucy to go for it. She thinks open communication is key to the relationship.

What Brain and Steele Think:

Steele:  Take it slow.  Whatever speed you usually move in relationships go about half that speed and watch for signs that he may be looking elsewhere.  I do give him credit for being honest about his past relationship.

 Brain:  It’s only been 3 dates.  You said you click.  Take it slow and be happy he told you about his previous relationship.  That being said, they call them rebounds for a reason.  Look for warning signs, and don’t be his!

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