New Boyfriend Turns To Cyber-Stalking and Doesn’t Like What He Sees — Counseling Corner

Every Thursday Brain and Steele read a letter from a listener who has a dilemma they need help with. After the letter is read, it’s YOUR turn to help out with your thoughts and opinions about the situation. Welcome to the Counseling Corner.

Dear Brain and Steele,

Hey guys, I'm 23 and have been in a relationship with a girl for almost three months. Things are still in that “she seems perfect” stage and maybe that's why I did what I did. I'm not proud of this fact, but a few days ago, I used social network to “stalk” my girlfriend. I had no real reason to do it, just boredom I guess. On the surface, all of her social network sites seemed normal. But the deeper I dug, the more I found. There are a LOT of pics of her ex-boyfriend. He's extremely good looking and she still talks about him and tells me they are still friends. I found some pics of her on the beach with him at what looks to be a family reunion. These photos were uploaded a week before they “broke up.”

I almost want to say something, but then it will be obvious that I was cyber-stalking her. Is it weird that I am jealous of her ex like this? Has anyone else cyber-stalked someone you were dating and do you have any tips on what I should do?

Kyle

What Our Listeners Think

Denise thinks Kyle needs try to get over his own securities and remember that his girlfriend chose to be with him for a reason.

Brandon suggested Kyle create a fake Facebook account with a fake name and fake friends so he can keep tabs on his girlfriend's online activities.

Carrie said the past is in the past. It's a lot of work to delete all evidence of a past relationship so Kyle just needs to trust his girlfriend.

Chet doesn't think Kyle is necessarily stalking his girlfriend. Kyle is curious about his girlfriend's past and he's just gathering information.

Kristin chalked it up to the fact that Kyle is only 23 so it's normal to leery, especially if he's been hurt in the past.

Brain says:  If you dig deep enough into someone's past, you're bound to find something that makes you uncomfortable.  The same applies to social media.  The point is, she is with YOU now, and not anyone else.  That's what you should focus on, not a picture of her from several years ago.

Steele says:  It's human nature to want to know as much as we can about people we like.  That being said, be careful what you wish for!