Every Thursday we highlight a problem from a listener. We give our advice and ask other listeners to offer advice. Welcome to the Counseling Corner.

Dear Brain,

I am an assistant manager at a local small business, and I love my job. I feel privileged to work in the small business setting, and I love the opportunities to engage with the community. I manage several awesome staff members who are equally passionate and all around positive to work with.

I always try to be the type of manager I would want to have – friendly, flexible, and approachable. But lately, I’m worried that this open attitude has been misinterpreted. One of my staff members recently began opening up to me about her struggles paying for school. I felt bad for her, and listened as she explained her mother’s poor credit and her non-existent relationship with her dad. She spoke to me about the stress this was causing her more and more, eventually coming right out and saying that she was not going to be able to pay for school.

It was around this time that I started see where this conversation might be going, and my anxieties were correct. She asked me to co-sign on her student loans. I feel uncomfortable about this for more reasons than one, because I now find myself in a pretty awkward situation.

I think to cover up any awkwardness, she hurriedly said that I didn’t have to answer right away and she understood that I would need time to think about it, so now it’s just sort of dangling over us when we work together. I have nearly perfect credit, and even if I didn’t it would feel extremely unprofessional and financially unwise to agree to this. This seems very obvious to me, so it’s uncomfortable that I’m in the position to have to respond to this request at all.

How do I say no while maintaining a friendly and professional relationship with this employee?

From,

Matthew

What our listeners say:

Bree says that her asking him for financial assistance could even be against company policy.  So say, sorry, but it's agains company rules and it could cost us both our jobs!

Laura says that it really took some guts to ask her supervisor for money help!  He should tell her that he respects her for asking him, and that he's glad she feels comfortable enough to share her troubles.

Summer says that Matthew could inquire with the company if there are any scholarship opportunities.  He could also make a list of other agencies that could help pay for her school.

Matt says that as a manager, you're only job is to keep the business headed in the right direction, not to make friends.  Politely tell her no, and if she is a friend she will understand why.

Brain says:  This is such a huge thing to ask someone to do.  I almost look at it this way.  She didn't ask you because you thought you'd say yes.  She asked you because then you would know how desperate for help she is.  Point her in the right direction for the financial aid she clearly needs.  There are plenty of place that are willing to help.

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