Bathroom Problems Plague Couple As Wedding Draws Nearer — Counseling Corner
Every Thursday, Brain and Steele read a letter from a listener who is asking for help. Then, it’s your turn to offer up advice to try to help the letter writer. At the end of the segment, Brain and Steele will add in their “two cents” worth. Welcome into The Counseling Corner.
Dear Brain and Steele,
You know how they say “living together” helps a person to get to know their partner so much better before they get married?? My fiance and I have lived together for almost 2 years and our impending wedding is this fall. The co-habitation experiment has worked like a charm and I believe we’ve solved several potential problems. All except one – “OUR” bathroom issue. I’ve let it go for as long as I can, but as wedding day grows closer, I feel like I need to deal with it.
His lack of cleaning the bathroom (the only one we have in our home) is almost criminal. There are towels and products left all over everything. And when it comes to “the king” cleaning his “royal throne” – he may have done it once or twice in the time we’ve been together. Then there is the issue of “toilet seat up or down.” I have given in. I do it because it beats hours of constantly nagging and complaining.
Anyone with suggestions or tips to make this issue manageable or go away all together?? I know in t he grand scheme of things, this isn’t massive….but I have a feeling it could grow.
What our listeners think:
Connie suggested Tiffany and her fiance make a cleaning schedule. Make one person in charge of cleaning the bathroom one week and someone else in charge of cleaning the bathroom the following week.
Heidi wrote: I don’t think the issue is minor – he is an adult and should clean up his own bathroom mess – otherwise it could lead to him expecting her to clean up all of his messes around the house. As far as cleaning the bathroom, aka the “throne” take turns!”
Erin said relationships are give and take. There might be a chore that Tiffany doesn’t like doing that her fiance prefers to do so maybe Tiffany worry about the bathroom and give her fiance a different chore.
Bridget commented: “ I understand what Tiffany is going through, guys aren’t always the cleanest just depends how they were raised. You can’t always change their habits but I’ve come to realize just think about the other things they may do around the house. It may be the smallest things but it makes a huge difference (loading the dishwasher, wipe off the counters, mowing). Baby steps, you can’t expect them to completely change to your ways around the house but you also should be the maid and cleaning up after him.”
Amy called in to say Tiffany needs to pick her battles.
What we think:
Steele says: I will admit that when my wife and I started dating and living together, I was not very good at cleaning the bathroom. Misty gave me a stearn warning that she “would not” be putting up with that FILTH. I took heed in her suggestions and changes were made!
Brain says: Growing up, I was responsible for cleaning the bathroom that my brother and I shared next to our bedroom. I learned early on how to keep the sink and toilet clean. Her fiance needs to grow up, and learn how to share the chores of the household. It’s what grownups and married couples do.