I Made a Scene at the Movie Theater and I’m Not Proud of It

Julie and I went to see The Gift tonight at Collins Road Theatres. I had seen the preview. I knew it was considered a psychological thriller. I should've known better than to go to a movie with that description. I'm not proud of what I did in that theater.

First of all, I don't do well with suspense or horror. I've known I don't do well in these situations since a high school classmate's dad started a chainsaw on the patio right outside where we were watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Actually I knew it before the chainsaw started that night as I had long before buried my face in a pillow. Tonight, we were early enough that we were able to sit in the back row. Turns out, that was a very smart move.

The Gift keeps you on the edge of your seat. It grabs you with suspense literally within the first two minutes. Joel Edgerton wrote, directed, and plays Gordo in the film. He did all three phenomenally well. He and Simon (Jason Bateman) share a secret that Simon's wife, Robyn (Rebecca Hall), knows nothing about. The suspense builds and at one point, I fully admit I lost it for a moment.

During one especially tense scene, I screamed "Jes--" while also making what Julie described as a very strange noise. Also, for whatever reason, I karate kicked with my right leg at a level high enough not to hit either of the seats in front of me. Thankfully, no one was sitting there, or there likely would've been injuries. I heard laughter. I heard it in several different places in the theater, including next to me. Julie was laughing so hard she was crying. The crowd was light, thank goodness. I was mortified. I will readily admit that from that point forward I closed my eyes at many moments that appeared they might be the slightest bit suspenseful. I couldn't take a chance on another outburst and I can't be trusted. When the movie ended, I quickly left my seat and got to the lobby. I didn't want to take any chances on people seeing who that "Jes--" guy was in the back.

The Gift is quite a movie. 93 percent of critics and 79 percent of moviegoers recommend it. If you love this type of movie, I recommend you go. Don't expect to see me, though. The Gift is something I don't want to open twice.

[via Rottentomatoes]