Child's First Halloween Out With Friends Has Parents Worried

Every Thursday we highlight a problem from a listener. We give our advice and ask other listeners to offer advice. Welcome to the Counseling Corner.

Dear Brain,

We have a Halloween problem, so this letter is urgent. My son is 13. His trick or treating days have been done for a couple of years now, and last year at Halloween he hung around home and helped me hand out candy to kids. THIS year, though he has other plans.

He told me a couple of weeks ago that some of his friends were going to get together on Halloween and “hang out”. I pressed him on what they would be doing, and he couldn’t give me any specifics. Needless to say, I’m extremely concerned. I was young once, and I know what kind of trouble teens can get into on Halloween. I don’t want him going out TPing, egging, or doing god knows what else.

My son is a good kid. He’s never been in trouble before, so I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. But I’m getting the feeling he’s not telling me everything. Call it a parent’s intuition. What should I do? Tell him he can’t go? Call the other kids parents? I feel like I need to be careful here, because I don’t want my son to rebel because of my actions!

Thanks,

Lucy

What Our Listeners Think:

Megan understands how Lucy feels as she has children around the same age. She thinks that Lucy should trust her son, especially if he hasn't gotten into trouble before. Megan also suggested Lucy's son check in every so often if he has a cell phone.

Deb has gone through the same thing with her two teenagers. She said as hard as it is, you have to trust them. Expect the truth. If you don't give them that trust in the beginning then they probably will start lying when there's no need for them to.

Kelli said Lucy should trust that she raised her son right and that he'll do the right thing.

Deanna thinks if Lucy trusts him then she should let him go out but if she doesn't trust him then she should make her son stay home.