A Confused Southerner Asks, Is This The Fifth Season?

"If you don't like the weather here, just wait a minute...it'll change."

Back home in Louisiana, we used to say that phrase all the time, because the weather would flip-flop during the year, but nothing like I have experienced here over the past month or so. That leads me to ask the question, is this the fifth season I've heard so much about?

From what I understand, city leaders created this so-called fifth season based on the Bible, in which Ecclesiastes 3 says that "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven (KJV)." In other words this fifth season is a time to reflect upon the other four and enjoy them.

But...WHY? Is it because it's easy to enjoy the other seasons when the one you're currently in is like playing a game of spin the weather wheel? Or maybe because the other seasons seem so much better because you can actually wear the same clothes all day without sweating or freezing? Are the seasons around here called Spring, Summer, Autumn, Schizophrenia, and Winter?

Please, Cedar Rapids...help out this Southern boy. I really want to know when I can wear my warm things without burning up. These 50 degree mood swings are killing me!